In today's world any and every imaginable hairstyle is available to any bride. You can go from super short to über long and silky (Cher circa 1970s) in no time (ok, that's a lie, it takes hours and hours of work to attach hair extensions and then style the hair, but the end result, if done correctly, can look magnificent). You can tease, curl and straighten your hair and then make it do incredible feats of acrobatics around combs, pins, crowns, clips and veils.
Begin at the beginning… With The Dress
First of all, take a good look at your wedding dress or the types of wedding dresses you are drawn to. Now - WITHOUT taking into consideration your hair (length, color, hair type) or your facial structure - which hairstyle do you feel would be most suited for this style of dress?
You may be "lucky" enough to have seen your dress modeled, in an ad online or in print, with a certain hairstyle that seems absolutely PERFECT for it. [I put the word lucky in quotes, as that piece of luck can make your life hell if you think that this specific hairstyle is the ONLY ONE suited for this dress. It's NOT!]
Remember, you want your entire look to shine: your dress, your face and makeup, your hairstyle and ALL OF YOU! You do not want any one of these components to outshine the others.
Having said this, there may be a 'tiny' part of you that you may wish to downplay or you would rather not emphasize; say large feet or if you are very tall and thin. You can cover up large feet with a long wedding dress that trails the floor and/or wear very simple, matte, not shiny, ballet-type shoes that call no attention to your feet. If you are very tall and thin, you can lessen the severity of any look by wearing a wedding gown that is not too form fitting or wear a dress style that cuts you on a bias or a dress with fabrics that create a sense of fullness without making you look like a wedding cake. And you all know what I mean!
More is More only if Less is Less
Now back to the hairstyle. A simple rule of thumb is that a big, poufy, multi-tiered dress or any dress that has a 'presence' demands a larger, more obvious hairstyle; while a simple, clean-line style should be accompanied by a clean, softer hairstyle.
Your hair should not be competing against your face!
Now that I've set that ground rule, it's time to take your hair and facial structure into consideration. If a big hairstyle fits the dress and your face is just too small and delicate or even too round – IT'S TIME TO RETHINK THE DRESS! REMEMBER: Unless you've just walked down the aisle, it is NEVER TOO LATE to change or modify your dress. You can have your dress altered, adjusted or just sell it on Ebay. You are NOT stuck with any dress!
The point here is that you do not want to look at the wedding pictures ten years from now and exclaim: "WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I PICKED OUT THAT DRESS???"
I've said it before and I'll say it again, your wedding look is not supposed to be a contest between your hair, your dress and your makeup! Sit quietly on a desert island if you need to, but take time to think through your whole look. Sit down with a trusted, objective friend or family member and review your whole look – sketch it out, piece it together with pictures of your gown, your hair and your face if you need to. But don’t wait until the makeup/hairstyling trial session to find out that something may be very wrong with your overall look.
Comfort, Comfort, Comfort
Another consideration when thinking about your bridal hairstyle is comfort. OK, comfort may be the wrong word to use, but you must be able to carry off the style with some modicum of ease. If the style is too heavy or too tight or too exaggerated, you will not enjoy a moment of your wedding. And you are supposed to enjoy your wedding! You are supposed to be able to dance, sing, run, eat and kiss relatives (only after the chuppah) to your heart's content. You are not supposed to spend the evening worrying about ruining your hairstyle and counting the minutes until the simcha is over and you can rip the hairstyle out of your hair. And that may not be possible when your hair has been held captive under a kilo of hair spray, a half kilo of glued beads and crystals and those three kilos of hair extensions. It took my daughter a week of intensive shampooing just to get the hair spray out of her hair!
Want to be daring? Go Bungee jumping after the wedding.
While we are on the subject of hairstyling, I cannot over emphasize the importance of not trying out new haircuts, styles and colors at the last minute before the wedding. Try out any new hairstyle alternatives at least three to six months before the wedding, in order to give your hair time to grow out, return to normal or change the look should anything have gone wrong or you are not happy with the results.
You don’t have three to six months to experiment? Well then YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING IT! If hair extensions are not enough to create the look you dreamed of, then you should drop the idea. You wedding is not the time to be daring about your looks.
Under the assumption that you do have six months prior to the wedding to change or modify your hair style, you should be doing the following.
• Start with a good hair cut or at least a good trim, even or should I say especially if you plan to grown your hair long. I know many brides want LONG hair for the wedding and don’t want to part with those few centimeters of shagging unhealthy hair as they think it makes their hair look longer. But you have to understand that those few centimeters of broken ends will not take the curl correctly and, if you intend to have an updo, these unsightly hairs will not behave themselves. Let it go and trim your hair and I guarantee your hairstyle and over all look will be wonderful.
• Start treating your skin kindly. No unnecessary tanning (beach or bed), harsh facial treatments, cosmetic surgeries or anything that may not heal in time for the big day.
• Let your eyebrows grow out a bit, so you can style them and have a little more 'to work with" for the wedding.
• Plan any waxing enough time in advance to allow for any redness to subside.
Remember EVERY KALLAH IS BEAUTIFUL on her wedding day!