The Myth of “I Never Wear Makeup”

“What kind of makeup look would you like to wear at the wedding?”

Through the years I have asked countless mothers of the bride and the groom this question and many times I have heard in response: “Oh, I never wear makeup, so whatever…”.  Wrong answer!  

I am here to stand up and say out loud that there are definitely times when every woman must wear makeup and a wedding is one of those times!


Go ahead and pamper yourself!

To say that every bride should wear makeup is a given; no matter how young, sweet and dewy-faced,  the bride needs to wear some makeup.  The facts are simple: the bride is (usually) decked out in a white dress and, at least for the first few hours, is surrounded by a white veil.  Many times even her flowers are white.  That all-white look alone can create a pale and washed-out appearance.

Now take into account the lovely brides who fast on the day of their weddings, the brides who are hyper-sensitive, the ones who are hyper-worried and the ones who are just incredibly nervous.  In most cases the veritable grocery list of wedding circumstances will conspire to produce a pale, washed-out look on any face.  The bride MUST wear makeup – at least a good warm base, a warm or pinkish blush and some lip and eye treatment and a lick of mascara. 

But this article is directed at all the other women of the bridal party, especially the MOTHERS of the BRIDE and the GROOM.

Makeup - lovely makeup!
I don't care if you NEVER wear makeup, I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your own wedding and I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your other sons'/daughters' weddings.  It is equally unimportant to me that the wedding is scheduled for the summer/winter rain/snow storm/midnight or noon; on a beach, on a mountain or in an over air-conditioned venue.  The mothers of the bride and groom MUST WEAR MAKEUP.  If you are curious, yes this is written in stone!

Let me explain why:  You must wear makeup for the sake of the symmetry of the wedding pictures.  ‘Symmetry’ you say?  Imagine a photograph showing half the people are wearing only white clothes head to foot and the other half are wearing clothing of all the colors of the rainbow.  The photo will look "off" - something will be not quite right - half the picture will look "alive" and the other half will look washed out.  

It's the same with makeup.  No matter what outfit and hairstyle a woman wears - a woman with makeup will look more awake, more vital and even younger!  Yes, I am talking about facial skin-appropriate makeup, not heavily rouged cheeks and liver-red lips on someone who should wear more muted colors.  

Note that I did not say age-appropriate makeup.  There is no such thing as age-appropriate makeup; except makeup on a 12 year old, who should never, ever, never wear makeup, except some blush and sparkles and only at her Bat Mitzvah party!

I have said time and again: makeup is the art of accentuating and concealingAccentuate the features you love and conceal the features you love less

What you love:
  • Create bright or dramatic eyes with dramatic eye shadows and eye liner if you love your eyes. 
  • Create powerful lips with a dark and dramatic lip color if you love your lips.

What you love less:
  • Create a soft eye look with muted earth-tone or blush colored eye shadow if you love your eyes less.
  • Create barely-there-lips with soft muted lip treatments if you love your lips less.  Keep in mind that if your lips are very narrow or thin, you can create a fuller lip look by using a lip pencil to draw your lip line a bit past your natural line and the fill them in with a same color lipstick!
  • Create warm, barely-there cheeks with a lightly dusted muted dusky-pink tone (stay away from harsh orange, red or brown tones) on your cheeks if your love your cheeks less.

What about you jewelry?
Don’t be afraid of your almost-final makeup look. Don'r worry about whether your eyes or lips look too dark.  The only way to really appreciate your finished makeup look is to see yourself fully dressed.  This means you must put on your dress, jewelry, wig or hat (if applicable).  Once you are fully dressed, don't just look in the mirror - take a picture to see how you look in the picture – this is what counts!

And while I am on the subject of pictures:  open your eyes a bit more than you are used to when you take pictures and please smile more than you usually do.  

Remember: A smile will light up your face and create a glow no makeup can accomplish – but makeup will give you a polished look that no smile can create or prolong!

Want to add a 'pop' to your eye makeup?  Consider false eye lashes.  A quality pair of lashes – not too long (no spider lashes!) or too thick – may not make too big a difference to your look "in person", but could make a difference to your appearance in the photographs!

Not sure of the look you want: ask your makeup artist for a trial beauty session; this session is not just for the bride!  Want to know more about a trial beauty session read my article: http:://yochieisner.blogspot.co.il/p/pre-wedding-trial-beauty-session.html

Now we need to talk about the why you don't want to wear makeup and many times that comes from a deeper place.  I truly believe every woman is born with a G-D given right to wear makeup, enjoy wearing makeup and a right to WANT to wear makeup.  I really feel that some women just feel they don't deserve to feel good about themselves or they don’t want people to think they are selfish or vain.  They feel that this is their daughter's/son's day and that the spot light should not be on them.  Or they are too old to bother with makeup or that they are "too far gone" and no amount of makeup can help them or why bother.  I am here to tell you - you could not be more wrong!

You deserve to feel good about yourself, to look into the mirror and not cringe, so that when you look into the camera lens you will not cringe, nor should you cringe when you see the photos.  And you certainly don't want your kids to cringe when they see the photos.

Like shoes, it doesn't matter if you feel overweight, poor, unhappy at work, unhappy in other areas of your life, your face can help make you feel good about yourself.  This is not silliness or selfishness, this is about feeling good about yourself, looking good and succeeding all bundled together into one package.  And let me tell you something, the photographer will treat you better and kinder and your kids will feel better as well! 

If your best friend won't tell you, then let me, YOU HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP.  

Not happy about your hair?  Think about hair extensions or a less-expensive synthetic wig.  Not happy about your dress or your dress size?  Talk to a stylist and I work with the best Wendy Lehmann!  BUT, let the Kallah Whisperer tell you, if you feel good about your makeup and hair, you will stand taller, look thinner and make better pictures for your kids and grandkids.  

Oh now I brought out the big guns!  Imagine: your grandkids will one day look at the wedding pictures of their parents and see you there and they will say (say it with me) "what a sexy young grandmother I have".  Now, make that appointment with the makeup artist and hairstylist, you know you deserve it!

For more information on this topic and to arrange a bridal beauty consultation or bridal beauty trial session please contact me today.  Visit my site  www.thekallahwhisperer.com 


Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

The Yichud Room or the Bride and Groom alone at last!

The minhag of the Yichud room, or simply known as “Yichud” is an interesting part of a Jewish wedding.  Yichud is both a "what" and a "where".  

Simply put, this minhag is carried out only by the bride and groom and immediately after the chuppah.  It’s kind of like sending the newly married couple to a deserted island immediately after the chuppah in order to enjoy the quiet of being all alone and together (at least for some ten or fifteen minutes).

There are many explanations for this minhag, including giving the newly married couple absolute privacy after the chuppah and allowing the new couple to share their first intimate moments of married life removed from the throng of family, guests and well-wishers and the whirlwind of the wedding celebration.  I read that it also helps teach the couple that in every situation they must make time to be together alone.

This is largely an Ashkenazi custom, but through the years it has been adopted by many Sephardim, as well.  

Like many other Jewish customs and traditions, Yichud involves a list of semi-formal actions established through the years and are followed by most orthodox Ashkenazi Jews. 

I think it is important for me to point out that the Hebrew word "Yichud" comes from the root for the Hebrew word יחד ‘together’.  In addition, it is important to point out that there is a prohibition for males and females, not closely related by blood (parents, siblings and such) or married, to be in closed/close proximity to prevent any untoward actions. This close proximity is simply described as Yichud.  Among the very orthodox, a couple, prior to their marriage, would not spend any time alone together; therefore the first time they are allowed to be alone together would be in the Yichud room, after the chuppah.

The Yichud room
The room used for Yichud may only have one door/entrance/exit in the room, so that the couple could meet in complete seclusion and they would be seen entering and leaving the room.  Most wedding venues in Israel have a small room or office set aside for this purpose.  In some venues the bride's room, used before the wedding for dressing, doubles as the Yichud room or sometimes it is the manager's office.

Discuss this with your venue in advance of the wedding date, to ensure that they do have a Yichud room or can provide for one and that on the day of the wedding it is cleaned and made presentable with at least a covered table and two chairs.  Request that drink and a light meal be placed in the room prior to the couple entering.  Even if the couple do not fast on their wedding day - the food they eat in this room may be the only "meal" the couple eat that day!

For couples that fast on the day of their wedding, the Yichud room is also the perfect place and the perfect time to break their fast together.  Usually drink and some food saved from the smorgasbord is placed in the room.  The couple is not meant to eat a whole meal at this time, as they (in theory) will eat their meal with all their wedding guests.

How does the couple get to the room?
Customarily the couple is lead, from the chuppah to the room, by an entourage of guests - singing and dancing in front of them.  Usually someone will enter the room first to ascertain that there is only one door to this room and then the couple will enter and then the door is shut behind them. 

The couple will usually stay in this room for about 10-15 minutes.  There is no stop watch here - so it is up to couple how long they stay.  Usually the photographer will wait outside the room and once they are ready to leave - he/she will enter the room and take the first photographs of the couple.  This is also the perfect time for me (the makeup artist/hairstylist) to do any touch ups for the imminent formal photos.   

The time immediately after Yichud is the PERFECT time to take all the posed family and combined family shots (especially if the couple did not see each other for the week before the wedding or the day of the wedding).  Once the family shots are taken, it's time for everyone to reenter the main hall and then the real dancing and celebration begins!

So what is everyone else doing while the couple is in the Yichud room?
While the couple is in Yichud, the guests will enter the dining room and begin the meal - which in Israel is usually a selection of salads already found on the tables and a choice of entrees to be served by the wait staff.

Once the couple enters the main hall, the band goes into high gear and the dancing begins and usually doesn't stop for air until the main part of the meal is served.  Mazal Tov!

Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

4 Best Kept Grooming Secrets of the FATHER of the Bride (and Groom)!


I always talk about the bride, the mothers of the bride and groom and the ladies of the bridal party, but never talk about the Fathers Well it’s time to talk about the BEST KEPT GROOMING SECRETS OF THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE (and groom)!


Nose hairs: Have the hairs in your nose trimmed or plucked.  Do I really have to tell you that nothing looks worse than a close up shot of the bride and her father and his nose hairs?  Have you barber take care of them when you get your pre-wedding hair cut!







Ear hairs:  They may be less offensive than nose hairs, but many men tend to have a LOT of hair growing out of their ears.  Get them tamed and trimmed along with your nose hairs.







Eye brows:  I am not asking you to have your brows styled and waxed.  All I am asking is that overly bushy brows be tamed.  Many men have some very long brow hairs curling all over the place.  Have these hairs trimmed and your brows combed.  If you have a unibrow (one thick brow line from eye to eye), this could be the perfect time to create two brows, by having a few hairs plucked above the bridge of your nose.



Shirts:  There are two simple rules regarding men’s shirts: they should be clean and fit correctly.  These seemingly easy rules can somehow be forgotten in the fray of the wedding preparations.  If you tend to sweat a lot, please bring an extra shirt to the venue; perspiration stains are not a pretty sight in wedding photos!  

Make sure your shirt fits you correctly: not too tight or too loose.  Just think of Goldilocks and have them fit “just right”.  This means you are able to move and sit with ease and not be afraid that your shirt will split open or the buttons will fly off if you move.

Think of your daughter (or son) and the wedding photos that will LAST FOREVER!

Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

The Kallah and Speed Davening

I have written about the Kallah’s pre-chuppah prayers in the past; the bride reads a personal prayer for herself and her chatan, just before the chuppah. http://yochieisner.blogspot.co.il/2012/11/the-kallah-is-queen-guide-to-brides.html    Now I would like to discuss the prayers the bride says for others.


Bridal Prayer with Kotel background

As I have discussed, the day of the wedding is considered Yom Kippur Katan for the bride and groom; a time when all their prayers are answered.  As a result of this belief, the bride, on the day of her wedding, would receive the names of people for whom she could pray. 

When I got married, on the day of the wedding the bride would be handed a few names hand-written on strips of paper to pray for.  Additionally, as she sat on her bride’s chair, she would receive a stream of friends and relatives for whom she would give brachot. 

Well, times have changed.  On the morning of her wedding day, one of my recent Kallahs – I am not exaggerating – was handed six single-spaced printed pages of people to pray for.  Her friends had compiled a list of singles hoping to find a marriage partner, people needing help with their livelihoods and people who are seriously ill.  In addition, throughout the day, the kallah’s friends were continually getting SMSs and collecting further requests and names, including prayers for soldiers and many others.  While this is a lovely and important minhag; it can also become a burden for the bride; especially a bride who is fasting.

The friends’ of the bride told me that today, these long lists are handled a bit differently than in my day; today the bride will read Tehilim and pray for blocks of names throughout the day - even before she gets to the venue.  During quiet moments when I was not working on her makeup or hair, she would read tehilim and say brachot for sets of people on her list.

Additionally, there is also a minhag to read the entire Sefer Tehilim on the wedding day.  If the Kallah is not a quick reader, then the effort can be distributed among her friends and female relatives.

Want to know more about the bride on her wedding day?  Read my article: http://yochieisner.blogspot.co.il/2012/11/the-kallah-is-queen-guide-to-brides.html

Purchase my customized bridal prayers exclusively found on Fiverrhttps://www.fiverr.com/yochieisner/personalize-jewish-bridal-wedding-prayers

Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

Trash the wedding dress or I guess I don’t have to worry about getting out THAT stain!

Have you heard about the Trash the Wedding Dress photo sessionsometimes called The Fearless Bride or Rock the Frock?  

The basic idea is to, well, trash the wedding dress in some dramatic, no-holds-barred manner.  The bride trashing the dress and the final results to the dress are usually photographed in the style of a high-fashion magazine.  The backgrounds for the shoot can be anything from the ocean or a farm to a slum or a dirt road.  The messier, the better!

In our neck of the woods, where getting a wedding dress from a gemach is nearly de rigueur, the idea of “trashing the wedding dress”, is nothing short of a sin against nature.  But even here in Israel, there are some brides who chose this route.  Want to know how to say Trash the Dress in Hebrew?  Simple transliteration: טראש דה דרס

Why would a bride want to trash her dress?  I guess it’s an interesting gimmick.  And this mini-event makes for some once-in-life-time, never-to-be-repeated photos. Some gals have said that they are marrying the man of their dreams, so they will never need another wedding dress again. 

Personally, I would love every bride who can afford to BUY her dress, to then donate her dress to a gemach so that brides who cannot afford to buy a dress, can rent one for a very low fee. 

Need ideas for your own Trash the Dress?  How about: paint ball fight, roll-in-the-mud fight, jump into the ocean or a pool, flour fight, wine fight, oh and did I mention a food fight?  There is absolutely no end to the ideas!

Want more ideas?  Take a look at this link: link:  http://www.buzzfeed.com/swelldesigner/28-ways-to-trash-your-wedding-dress-22zb  

Maybe the idea interests you, but you don’t want to ruin YOUR wedding dress?  Buy a cheap look-alike dress on Ebay and trash away!

Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog.

The Six Commandments of Eyebrow Styling

The Six Commandments of Eyebrow Styling

It's time to share my 6 Commandments of Eyebrow Styling!  Follow these rules and you will never have another "bad eyebrow day" again!



Want to learn how to style and groom your own brows in a one-on-one lesson? Contact me today!

4 Tips to Picture-Perfect Bridal Nails!



When should you schedule your pre-wedding mani?
So many brides ask me when they should have their manicures before the wedding.  This is a “big” question with a simple answer – after the mikveh and no more (or less than) the day BEFORE the wedding.

Why not on the day of the wedding?  Great question.  First of all you have enough on your plate on THE DAY and second of all, you want to make sure that the nail polish is 100%, no make that 1000%, dry before you put on the wedding dress. Manicures are not a wedding task you need to do at the last minute.  The day before is perfect!  This is especially true if you want to have acrylic or gel nail extensions for your wedding.

Start taking care of your nails – TODAY!
And while we are on the discussion of nails: if you want your nails to look great, start taking care of them at least three months before the wedding.  Do I really need to tell you to stop biting your nails?  Allow them to grow and get manicures on a regular basis.  This allows you to get to know and trust your manicurist (and find someone better!) and also allows you to explore the best mani colors and styles for your wedding nails.


Color, Color, Color!
I have always believed that a clean, nude-to-pink French nail is perfect, but take a gander at the red nail polish choices in the link below, it may change your mind (it certainly changed mine).




If you are choosing stones or other glue-on decorations, make sure they do not stick out too much from your nail bed or catch on to fabric too easily – this could spell disaster for your dress or your hair or your lashes on the wedding day. 

Take the time to try out different nail styles and colors in the months leading up to the wedding. 

Your over-all look!
If you are wearing a traditional white or off-white/cream dress, your only “color” will come from your makeup, bouquet, shoes and nails.  Imagine matching your nails to your bouquet?  Or to your shoes? These are the accessories that can bring color and life into your over-all wedding look!

On the DAY
On the day of the wedding.  Have a friend gently check the stones and tips of your nails to make sure they do not catch or snag any fabric.

And remember to have a fabulous, colorful wedding day!


  
Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

5 Beauty Tips Every Bride Should Know BEFORE Her Wedding!




Skin

Be kind to your skin! Drink lots of water to keep your skin hydrated. 
Perfect Bridal skin!
Do not sit out in the sun or use a tanning bed in the weeks before your wedding. 

This is not the time to experiment with new creams, lotions or potions on any part of your body.  Use the same trusted brands you've used for years.

If you want to improve the look of your skin start going to a trusted cosmetician at least two months before the wedding, tell her/him when you are getting married and make sure that all treatments are very gentle.  No extreme peelings or exfoliations. 





Lips
Perfect Bridal Lips
Chapped lips are a problem for brides as well as all the women in the bridal party.  Begin this great at-home beauty treatment about a month before the wedding: before going to bed gently rub a small amount of sugar into your lips and then wash off and apply a very thin coat of unscented mild facial cream or petroleum jelly. Repeat this process once a week until the wedding.


Eyes

Perfect Bridal Eyes
If you wear glasses, then think about the following eye makeup options:

If you are far sighted (can’t see up close) – your glasses magnify not only what is in front of you, but also your eyes: make sure your makeup is subtle both in color and in style. 

If you are near sighted (can't see far away) – your glasses help you see into a distance, but also make your eyes seem smaller, make sure your makeup is more dramatic.  You should use eyeliner and extra coats of mascara to help further emphasize your eyes.

If your eyes are small, think about using a white pencil on the water line above your bottom lashes from the tear duct to the very corner of your eye to give you the illusion of brighter, larger eyes.

Discuss these issues with your makeup artist during the trial session.


Dressing the bride
Touch ups on the day of the wedding
If you are not lucky enough to have a makeup artist on call for the entire event, keep the following tips in mind:

Pack the following items inside your take-to-the-venue makeup bag.

To absorb any perspiration and remove the shine from any facial areas: blot the area with a dry, clean tissue.  Blot the area, do not wipe it or your makeup will smudge and spread.

Prepare cotton balls dipped lightly in facial powder in talc/baby powder for light touch-ups. (Place these in a small zip-lock baggie.)

Pack a cheap concealer or makeup that matches (exactly!) your makeup shade or use talc/baby powder for mini-touch-ups. (Why cheap? You can forget it or lose it at the venue without worry!)

 You can pack a clear or tinted lip gloss, to keep your lips looking hydrated and full.


Smile

A Bridal smile - the perfect makeup!
Get used to smiling – brightly!  

Remember what The Kallah Whisperer always says: A smile will light up your face and create a glow no makeup can accomplish – but makeup will give you a polished look that no smile can create or prolong!”




Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!



Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

Finally English language beauty classes in Israel!


I am happy to announce the opening of my English-language course:  THE BEAUTY BUSINESS IN ISRAEL.  This course is for everyone in the beauty field: cosmeticians, makeup artists, hairstylists, stylists, style coaches, fashion designers and more.


The Beauty Business in Israel Course flier

This course is specifically designed to help English speaking beauty business owners and those thinking of opening their own businesses.  In a small supportive group you will learn, share and get the kind of experience you need to succeed in all customer-related issues.  There is no other English-speaking course available in Israel today that provides you with class time and one-on-one mentoring.


The course will be held in Tel Aviv and Ra’anana.  Classes will open subject to minimum registration.  Call 052-3413249 or write me for full details and a registration form yochi.eisner@gmail.com.

Two More Important Rules of Eyebrow Styling



There are TWO important, never-to-be broken, rules in eyebrow styling.  Now please repeat after me:



1. Never over-tweeze before an event! I would hasten to add, that it is better to allow your brows to grow “free” than to over-tweeze and be left with a two upside-down parenthesize marks to deal with.  If you can’t control your hands, then tweeze only the hairs UNDER your brow and only those not touching your brow.

2. Never try to “even out” your brows! For the innocent, this means that if you over-tweezed one eye brow NEVER try to even-out the brows by tweezing the other brow.  Use a combination of eye shadow and eye brow pencil to draw in/fill in the missing brow section, so that this brow matches (as best as possible) the 'whole' brow over the other eye.  Do not compound the error by ruining both brows!


Want to learn how to style and groom your own brows in a one-on-one lesson? Contact me today!
www.thekallahwhisperer.com

Ashes, Ayin Harah and the Jewish Groom


The Jewish wedding is actually a series of small ceremonies strung together like a string of pearls.  From the bedeken and the bride circling the groom under the chuppah, to the breaking of the glass and so many others, each ceremony is infused with tradition and meaning, as they have been included, embellished and developed through the centuries and within the Jewish communities around the world. 

Many of these traditions involve commemorating the destruction of Jerusalem and both Batay Ha’Mikdash.  One of these traditions, especially amongst Ahskenazi Jews, is to put a small dot of ashes on the forehead of the groom (where the Tefilin is placed), just before the chuppah.  Some put on the ashes and then gently wipe them off, so that just a smudge of the ashes is left.

I have also heard that there is a minhag to place ashes on the forehead of the bride, but I have never seen this.  I guess the idea of ruining a very expensive wedding dress (not to mention makeup), has discouraged the widespread acceptance of this minhag.



As the ashes are put on the groom’s forehead, some recite the line:

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither

 אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני

The use of ashes embraces an interesting use of a kind of dual symbolism. On one hand, the use of ashes has always represented an open expression of sadness and loss. This is the reason for the minhag that some people place ashes on their foreheads to signify the death of a relative or even at the time of a community disaster (see Migilat Esther).  This minhag was then brought into the wedding traditions to symbolize the destruction of Jerusalem.

On the other hand, another interesting aspect of the ashes minhag at weddings is the idea of “counteracting” the Ayin Harah or not casting an evil eye.  In fact, many of the minhagim of mourning were ‘borrowed’ for the wedding celebration in an effort to “confuse” the evil spirits into thinking that the wedding was really a funeral and so prevent them for ruining the happiness of the occasion.  

There is even a minhag of the bride and groom emptying out their pockets before the chuppah; reminiscent of the pocket-less kitel or shroud worn by the dead.  The kitel itself was brought into the wedding traditions and worn by the groom, which is yet again another example of this dual symbolism.

Interestingly, the Sephardi Jews took the idea of sadness or bitterness in another direction.  They used to place a wreath of olive branches on the groom’s head (and sometimes the bride’s head, as well).  The bitterness of the olives, once again, represented the bitterness of the destruction of the Batay Ha’Mikdash.

No matter what the minhag, the central idea is always the same: even during our happiest moments, there is always sadness.

As the New Year approaches may we all be zoche to see the rebuilding of the Beit Ha’Mikdash in our generation.

שיבנה בית המקדש במהרה בימינו


Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog.