The Kallah is Queen
Fasting
For the kallah and the chatan, their wedding day is
considered their own "personal" Yom Kippur; a way of "cleaning
the slate", of "starting fresh" and of beginning a whole new
life together as a married couple. This
is one of the reasons why many couples fast on their wedding day.
In general, the couple usually fasts
from sunrise to sunset on the day of their wedding. As the chuppah is usually held after
sunset (she'keah), some couples fast until after the chuppah and break their
fast together in the Yichud room. Many times, the chuppah is held much later
than stated on the invitation and some
couples choose to break their fast just after she'keah on something light (such
as a glass of water, juice, etc) and then have a light meal in the yichud room
together. All I can say is that eating
something is better than having a bride faint either during the chuppah or even
in the yehud room.
In order to decide what is "best for you as a
couple"; think about how well you fast, the time schedule for the
wedding and how strongly you feel about this minhag.
The Kallah Chair
For the bride, the time spent before the Bedeken and
the chuppah, when the bride is seated on a specially decorated Kallah Chair,
her own throne, is a very special time.
This is a time when her friends and family surround her and entertain
her with music and dance. I have seen kallot surrounded by their friends as
they sing to her in a private section of the Hall; while other brides are the
center of attention – literally – seated in the middle of the Hall, with guests
surrounding her on all sides.
As these are all minhagim, the 'where', 'how'
and 'on what' you sit is a matter of personal custom, preference and
choice (and, of course, any physical limitations of the venue). Some Halls have a specially designed chair or
couch, usually covered in a white silk material. If you are planning to sit on a kallah chair,
then you should find out in advance whether the venue has a "special"
chair, see how it looks and whether you would like to further decorate this
chair.
Blessings and Prayers
The pre-chuppah time is also a very special time for the kallah and her blessings and prayers has special significance.
It is said that on the day of the wedding, the gates of Shamayim (Heaven) are open to the kallah's prayers and entreaties and to grant her requests.
Many brides will recite a special Bride's Prayer
as they sit enthroned in their Kallah Chair. There are many versions of this prayer;
you can find an English-language translation of one version at the end of this article. As this is only a tradition, the kallah can
recite any prayer she wishes and feels comfortable with.
The connection between women and the Tof
or drum or as it is called today tambourine (timbrel), is found in the Torah, Sh'mot
15, 20-21, "…Miriam the Prophetess, sister of Aharon, took a tambourine
and all the women followed her with tambourines and dancing and they sang
praises to Hashem…" This happened
after Hashem safely allowed the Jews to cross the Yom Suf (after Y'te'at
Mitzrayim); while the Egyptians, who chased after them, were drown as the seas
joined together again. Just as an added
point of interest, any mention of song in the Torah
is connected to praise of Hashem after a miracle or redemptive action.
There is also a custom for unmarried friends and
relatives of the kallah to ask her for a bracha for their own
happiness. Once again, she is free
to recite any formula she wishes. As
each person in turn greets the kallah as she sits on her Kallah Chair, she
can pray for and personally bless each person. In addition, many brides pray
for the sick and the injured and even carry a list of their names with them
down the aisle.
You can purchase all my bridal,
mother of the bride and mother of the grooms prayers EXCLUSIVELY on Fiverr!
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Do you have questions about a Jewish wedding, its customs, traditions and practices? Please feel free to contact me today!
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