Dressing the bride: A guide to white weddings dresses, veils, nose rings and everything in between

Photo credit: http://kaboompics.com/

And the bride wore white.  Whose bright idea was that?

Tell me - whose bright idea was it to dress a bride all in white and then send her into a room full of people milling about (at the kabalat panim) eating sushi with soy sauce, spaghetti dripping with tomato sauce and mini kababs swimming in oil?  Oh and did I forget to mention the infamous red wine she will sip under the chuppah?  

Seriously, only a man would have thought that white could be a good color for a bride.  Actually it could be - if she is wearing a white dress she can wash and wear. Unfortunately during the last one hundred years or so - wedding gowns have been made of lace, silk, chiffon, satin and a host of other materials that are allergic to water and attract stains like kids to candy.  So where does this custom of the bride wearing white come from?

Let’s start with girls of marriageable age wearing white during the time of the Beit Hamikdash.  In the Taanis 26B, Raban Shimon Ben Gamliel said: ‘There are no more joyous days for Israel than Tu B'Av (the 15th of Av) and Yom Kippur, on these days the (unmarried) girls in Jerusalem would borrow dresses of white, so no one would be embarrassed that they didn't have a dress, and go out to the vineyards and dance.'  The Gemara continues by urging the unmarried young men: ‘Young man, go out and see who you choose'. Meaning: choose a bride.

As a result of the Gemara quote, Tu B'Av (along with Lag B’Omer) are the busiest wedding days on the Jewish calendar.  

While no one marries on Yom Kippur, many of the “themes” of Yom Kippur are found in wedding ceremony.  Firstly, for the bride and groom, their wedding day is considered a Yom Kippur Katan, a mini Yom Kippur.  Just as Yom Kippur is a day of fasting and an opportunity to begin the new year with a fresh start; many brides and grooms fast on their wedding day, as this is their shared opportunity to begin their lives anew.  Secondly, many grooms wear a kitel under the Chuppah, another symbol of Yom Kippur.

In past centuries and around the world, white was not considered a suitable bridal color.  So when did white become the bridal color of choice?  It seems that we can blame Queen Victoria of England for that fashion challenge; the queen chose to marry Prince Albert decked out all in white, back in 1840.  Since then, white has become the color associated with purity and innocence.  So white it is!

Photo credit: http://kaboompics.com/

Forget the Gown - take a look at the Bridal Accessory List!  

Today the bridal dress is the undisputed focal point of the bride's attire, however during biblical times the bridal accessories took precedence. And the bridal accessory list was astounding!

Take a look at this list, from Yishi'yahu Perek 3:18 - 24.  While the passage is actually meant as a reproof to the Jews living in ancient Israel; the list of bridal accessories talks volumes as to what brides wore on their special day.  The list includes: anklets, tiaras, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, scarves, bonnets, armbands, belts, perfume boxes, amulets, rings, nose ornaments, cloaks, mantles, gowns, handbags, gauze, fine linen, hoods and veils.

 Yishi’yahu Perek 3 יְשַׁעְיָהוּ

יח  בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא יָסִיר אֲדֹנָי, אֵת תִּפְאֶרֶת הָעֲכָסִים וְהַשְּׁבִיסִים--וְהַשַּׂהֲרֹנִים.	18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their anklets, and the fillets, and the crescents;
יט  הַנְּטִפוֹת וְהַשֵּׁירוֹת, וְהָרְעָלוֹת.	19 the pendants, and the bracelets, and the veils;
כ  הַפְּאֵרִים וְהַצְּעָדוֹת וְהַקִּשֻּׁרִים, וּבָתֵּי הַנֶּפֶשׁ וְהַלְּחָשִׁים.	20 the headtires, and the armlets, and the sashes, and the corselets, and the amulets;
כא  הַטַּבָּעוֹת, וְנִזְמֵי הָאָף.	21 the rings, and the nose-jewels;
כב  הַמַּחֲלָצוֹת, וְהַמַּעֲטָפוֹת, וְהַמִּטְפָּחוֹת, וְהָחֲרִיטִים.	22 the aprons, and the mantelets, and the cloaks, and the girdles;
כג  וְהַגִּלְיֹנִים, וְהַסְּדִינִים, וְהַצְּנִיפוֹת, וְהָרְדִידִים.	23 and the gauze robes, and the fine linen, and the turbans, and the mantles.

From http://www.mechon-mamre.org/i/t/t1003.htm

With today's much abbreviated accessory list, it is interesting to note that it is easy to follow the custom of the bride removing all her jewelry before she walks to the chuppah.  The reason for her removing all her jewelry is to signify that the wedding ring, she will be given under the chuppah, is her most significant piece of jewelry.  (The bride usually replaces all her jewelry after the chuppah is over.)   

Once again the themes of Yom Kippur can be found here, as I have heard that the custom of the bride removing her jewelry (and perhaps also wearing white), mimics the way the Cohen Gadol used to wear only special white unadorned clothes when he did the most holy work of the year in the Beit Hamikdash on Yom Kippur.

Let’s not forget the Veil!

Veils have been part of the Jewish wedding experience, since Yitzchak married Rivka, the first bride mentioned in the Torah.  We don't know what she wore, but we do know that she wore a veil and she lowered it as she approached Yitzchak. 

Another Torah veil story comes from the "hard lesson" Yaakov learned when he thought he had married Rachel, but ended up with her sister Leah.  To avoid any future marriage mixups, the custom of the groom himself placing the veil on the bride (the Badeken ceremony) was born.  This custom is still practiced today.

There are so many customs and traditions surrounding the dressing of the bride and groom and the wedding ceremony itself that you can incorporate in your wedding ceremony.  Do you want more information on Jewish wedding customs and traditions?  Contact me today!

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Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

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The Myth of “I Never Wear Makeup”

“What kind of makeup look would you like to wear at the wedding?”

Through the years I have asked countless mothers of the bride and the groom this question and many times I have heard in response: “Oh, I never wear makeup, so whatever…”.  Wrong answer!  

I am here to stand up and say out loud that there are definitely times when every woman must wear makeup and a wedding is one of those times!

Go ahead and pamper yourself!

To say that every bride should wear makeup is a given; no matter how young, sweet and dewy-faced,  the bride needs to wear some makeup.  The facts are simple: the bride is (usually) decked out in a white dress and, at least for the first few hours, is surrounded by a white veil.  Many times even her flowers are white.  That all-white look alone can create a pale and washed-out appearance.

Now take into account the lovely brides who fast on the day of their weddings, the brides who are hyper-sensitive, the ones who are hyper-worried and the ones who are just incredibly nervous.  In most cases the veritable grocery list of wedding circumstances will conspire to produce a pale, washed-out look on any face.  The bride MUST wear makeup – at least a good warm base, a warm or pinkish blush and some lip and eye treatment and a lick of mascara. 

But this article is directed at all the other women of the bridal party, especially the MOTHERS of the BRIDE and the GROOM.

Makeup - lovely makeup!

I don't care if you NEVER wear makeup, I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your own wedding and I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your other sons'/daughters' weddings.  It is equally unimportant to me that the wedding is scheduled for the summer/winter rain/snow storm/midnight or noon; on a beach, on a mountain or in an over air-conditioned venue.  The mothers of the bride and groom MUST WEAR MAKEUP.  If you are curious, yes this is written in stone!

Let me explain why:  You must wear makeup for the sake of the symmetry of the wedding pictures.  ‘Symmetry’ you say?  Imagine a photograph showing half the people are wearing only white clothes head to foot and the other half are wearing clothing of all the colors of the rainbow.  The photo will look "off" - something will be not quite right - half the picture will look "alive" and the other half will look washed out.  

It's the same with makeup.  No matter what outfit and hairstyle a woman wears - a woman with makeup will look more awake, more vital and even younger!  Yes, I am talking about facial skin-appropriate makeup, not heavily rouged cheeks and liver-red lips on someone who should wear more muted colors.  

Note that I did not say age-appropriate makeup.  There is no such thing as age-appropriate makeup; except makeup on a 12 year old, who should never, ever, never wear makeup, except some blush and sparkles and only at her Bat Mitzvah party!

I have said time and again: makeup is the art of accentuating and concealing.  Accentuate the features you love and conceal the features you love less. 

What you love:

• Create bright or dramatic eyes with dramatic eye shadows and eye liner if you love your eyes. 
• Create powerful lips with a dark and dramatic lip color if you love your lips.

What you love less:

• Create a soft eye look with muted earth-tone or blush colored eye shadow if you love your eyes less.
• Create barely-there-lips with soft muted lip treatments if you love your lips less.  Keep in mind that if your lips are very narrow or thin, you can create a fuller lip look by using a lip pencil to draw your lip line a bit past your natural line and the fill them in with a same color lipstick!
• Create warm, barely-there cheeks with a lightly dusted muted dusky-pink tone (stay away from harsh orange, red or brown tones) on your cheeks if your love your cheeks less.

What about you jewelry?

Don’t be afraid of your almost-final makeup look. Don'r worry about whether your eyes or lips look too dark.  The only way to really appreciate your finished makeup look is to see yourself fully dressed.  This means you must put on your dress, jewelry, wig or hat (if applicable).  Once you are fully dressed, don't just look in the mirror - take a picture to see how you look in the picture – this is what counts!

And while I am on the subject of pictures:  open your eyes a bit more than you are used to when you take pictures and please smile more than you usually do.  

Remember: A smile will light up your face and create a glow no makeup can accomplish – but makeup will give you a polished look that no smile can create or prolong!

Want to add a 'pop' to your eye makeup?  Consider false eye lashes.  A quality pair of lashes – not too long (no spider lashes!) or too thick – may not make too big a difference to your look "in person", but could make a difference to your appearance in the photographs!

Not sure of the look you want: ask your makeup artist for a trial beauty session; this session is not just for the bride!  Want to know more about a trial beauty session read my article: http:://yochieisner.blogspot.co.il/p/pre-wedding-trial-beauty-session.html

Now we need to talk about the why you don't want to wear makeup and many times that comes from a deeper place.  I truly believe every woman is born with a G-D given right to wear makeup, enjoy wearing makeup and a right to WANT to wear makeup.  I really feel that some women just feel they don't deserve to feel good about themselves or they don’t want people to think they are selfish or vain.  They feel that this is their daughter's/son's day and that the spot light should not be on them.  Or they are too old to bother with makeup or that they are "too far gone" and no amount of makeup can help them or why bother.  I am here to tell you - you could not be more wrong!

You deserve to feel good about yourself, to look into the mirror and not cringe, so that when you look into the camera lens you will not cringe, nor should you cringe when you see the photos.  And you certainly don't want your kids to cringe when they see the photos.

Like shoes, it doesn't matter if you feel overweight, poor, unhappy at work, unhappy in other areas of your life, your face can help make you feel good about yourself.  This is not silliness or selfishness, this is about feeling good about yourself, looking good and succeeding all bundled together into one package.  And let me tell you something, the photographer will treat you better and kinder and your kids will feel better as well! 

If your best friend won't tell you, then let me, YOU HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP.  

Not happy about your hair?  Think about hair extensions or a less-expensive synthetic wig.  Not happy about your dress or your dress size?  Talk to a stylist and I work with the best Wendy Lehmann!  BUT, let the Kallah Whisperer tell you, if you feel good about your makeup and hair, you will stand taller, look thinner and make better pictures for your kids and grandkids.  

Oh now I brought out the big guns!  Imagine: your grandkids will one day look at the wedding pictures of their parents and see you there and they will say (say it with me) "what a sexy young grandmother I have".  Now, make that appointment with the makeup artist and hairstylist, you know you deserve it!

For more information on this topic and to arrange a bridal beauty consultation or bridal beauty trial session please contact me today.  Visit my site  www.thekallahwhisperer.com 

Did you enjoy my article?  I’d love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or tell me on my facebook page and please feel free to share my blog with a bride and all your friends!

Do you have any questions about Jewish wedding customs, please drop me a line?  Do you want to learn more about brides, weddings and beauty? Please subscribe to my blog. 

The Chuppah: Canopy of Kings & Queens

The following article is reprinted with the kind permission of the author, Barbara P. Billauer

So, you’re getting married. Mazal Tov!

You, like your mother and grandmother and her mother and grandmother before her, will be married under a Chuppah – the marriage canopy which represents the Jewish Home, open on all sides as was the tent of Avraham, a sign the Jewish home is always open to visitors and travelers. But the Jewish wedding ceremony wasn’t always like that. In biblical times, the marriage was consecrated in the house of the groom and the tent stood for what it was, the home:

Bereishis Pereck 24

67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her. And Isaac was comforted for his mother. {P}

סז וַיְבִאֶהָ יִצְחָק, הָאֹהֱלָה שָרָה אִמּוֹ, וַיִקַח אֶת רִבְקָה וַתְהִי לוֹ - - לְאִשָה, וַיֶאֱהָבֶהָ; וַיִנָחֵם יִצְחָק, אַחֲרֵי אִמּוֹ. {פ}

The first actual reference to the word Chuppah comes from Tehilim 19:5

6 Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run his course.

ו וְהוּא - -כְחָתָן, יֹצֵא מֵחֻפָתוֹ; יָשִיש כְגִבּוֹר, לרוּץ אֹרַח.

In the time of David HaMelech, the term Chuppah represented the premises of the groom, where the bride would ultimately sojourn. Later, it appears that the word refers to the abode of the bride, which she would leave to begin her new life with her husband:

Joel 2:16: "Let the bridegroom emerge from his chamber [chedro], and the bride from her chuppah.")

16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts; let the bridegroom go forth from his chamber, and the bride out of her pavilion.

טז אִסְפוּ עָם קַדְשׁוּ קָהָל, - קִבְצוּ זְקֵנִים - -אִסְפוּ -- עוֹלָלִים, וְיֹנְקֵי שָׁדָיִם: יֵצֵא חָתָן מֵחֶדְרוֹ, וְכַלָה מֵחֻפָתָהּ.

By the time of the Talmud, the word Chuppah was used to mean the room where the marriage was consecrated. But we also find reference to the canopy as a symbol of the marriage rite in Gittin 57a, (Talmud Bavli) :"It was the custom when a boy was born to plant a cedar tree and when a girl was born to plant a pine tree, and when they married, the tree was cut down and a canopy made of the branches". 

The Medrash also relates that Mt. Sinai was held over the heads of Bnei Yisroel at the time of Mattan Torah. Like “a chuppah” of a bride and groom, HKBH was consecrated to his bride, B’nei Yisraoel. The Rosh held that in the days of the Talmud the decorated hand-carried coach that transported the bride to her wedding served as the Chuppah.

By the early Middle Ages customs varied from community to community. In some communities, the Chuppah referred to the veil of the bride. In others, couples were married under a tallit, or the robe of the groom spread over the couple, or a cloth draped over them (as you can see in the illustration below). Only in the 16th century do we begin to see the Chuppah in a form we would recognize today.

Wedding, Nuremburg, 15th Cent. Without a Chuppah
but with musical accompaniment.

http://exploringeastlondon.co.uk/jc/

The tapestry or cloth canopy that we know today as a Chuppah was first identified by Rabbi Moses Issereles (Rema) in the sixteenth century, but the earliest illustration I could find dates to 1695.

Wood cut of a wedding in Amsterdam, 1695

R’ Isserles notes (before he composed his commentary to the Shulchan Aruch) that the portable marriage canopy was widely adopted by Ashkenazi Jews as a symbol of the chamber within which marriages originally took place. Other scholars believe that the form originated from the weddings of the Catholic Church (see Joseph Gutman, The Jewish Life Cycle, p.16). It appears more likely that the Chuppah (and the Catholic adaptation of the concept, as well) derived from the concept of the bride and groom considered as King and Queen. It is just too coincidental that the Chuppah almost exactly resembles the Monarchial design of the Baldachin.

The word Baldachin derives from Baldac, a Medieval Latin term for Bagdad, from where fine silks and tapestries were transported to Europe. Merriam Webster defines Baldachin as: 1) a cloth canopy fixed or carried over an important person or a sacred object, 2) a rich embroidered fabric of silk and gold, or 3) an ornamental structure resembling a canopy used especially over an altar. Its use signified the elite status of the individual it covered.

The Solemn Entrance of Emperor Charles V, Francis I of France, and of Alessandro Cardinal Farnese into Paris in 1540.  By Zuccari

The first baldachins were used as bed canopies, although the idea of a “Canopy of State” which accompanied the regent, dates back to the Egyptian times and Neo-Assyrians in Athens. By the late 5th century the parasol of the ‘elite’ women filled the same role.

“The Dream of St Ursula” by Carpaccio, c. 1500 (from “Baronial Bedrooms” by Barbara Billauer Bailey) (Notice how similar the scalloped edges on the canopy are to the chuppah in the woodcut seen earlier.)

Over the years baldachins became more elaborate and their uses expanded. These canopies were made of anything from muslin to heavy brocade. Transportable ones were constructed of less flexible materials, and supported by poles, whether affixed to a carriage, or carried by people walking on each side. By the mid 1800’s the baldachins had become spectacular structures, commanding awe that might have even surpassed that lavished on the Kings and Queens they were supposed to grace.

The Bedroom of the tragic Maxmillian and Carlotta in Miramare (from “Baronial Bedrooms” by Barbara Billauer Bailey) Max and Carlotta abandoned this incredible room so he could go to Mexico and be Emperor. There he was killed and Carlotta went insane. (She had a really nice bedroom though – just not as grand as this.)

The Travelling Baldachin

Baldachins were later placed over thrones and carried over the monarchs. As the monarchs themselves became more mobile, the travelling baldachin came into use (as you saw previously). We find these on route to war, or in processions such as royal entrances, coronations and funerals.

Wedding, Germany, 19th Cent. under Tallit and hand-held Chuppah.
The Couple wear wedding belts.

So, how did I come to know so much about Baldachins?

It all started when my husband told me our bedroom resembled a palace. Nice Yeshiva girl that I am, I had no idea what he was talking about. Especially since our room was decorated using smoke, mirrors, paper and cardboard (I kid you not about the last three items). 

So, I started researching what palatial bedrooms looked like. And I found they were all the same. Then how come they all look so different? – you ask. Much of it was just a matter of the colors and textures they chose (it’s amazing how much) and a couple of other ‘tricks’ that can be easily and cheaply copied. 

I learned so much about bedrooms (and baldachins) that I decided to write a book which was just published, "Baronial Bedrooms: The Kama Sutra of Grand Design". In it I share both what I learned (it’s amazing what you find out about Kings and Queens when you limit your searches to "bedrooms") and the techniques I used to copy the ‘Beauty of the Baronial Bedroom” on bubkes. You can order this paperback on Amazon. 

Barbara Pfeffer Billauer (Bailey) is a lawyer, science-educator, historical researcher and popular Torah-teacher. She is a research Professor at The Institute of World Politics by vocation and a designer by avocation. She lives in Zichron Yaakov where she is giving Shiurim and researching an upcoming book on Aaron Aaronsohn and a children’s book on Dona Gracia HaNasi.

Her design history and how-to book, “Baronial Bedrooms” can be ordered from Amazon.com or from Westphalia press. It will be available on Kindle shortly.

All pictures reprinted with the permission of Barbara P Billauer

Copyright Barbara P Billauer 2013

The Ring, The Bride and The Groom Or “Is it the RING finger or the INDEX finger?”

Let’s talk about “the ring”.  No I don’t mean the engagement ring.  That little “bauble” is left up to the bride, the groom, and their bank account.  I am talking about the ring that counts; the wedding ring.  So what are the traditions concerning this ring?

First of all, we have to start at the beginning.  Do we need a wedding ring at all?  As far as Jewish law is concerned, no we do not need a ring, per se, for the ceremony and therefore the marriage to be valid. 

Three conditions must be satisfied in order to consider a couple married according to Jewish law: Shtar: a written agreement, Be’ah: consummation of the marriage and Kesef: an item that is worth more than a pruta (lowest valued coin) must be given to the bride by the groom.

Shtar is the Ketuvah.  You can read more about Ketuvot and find my English translation of the ketuva in my article "The Jewish Marriage Contract in all its beauty" 

Be’ah, well I think most couples get that one right.  So what is left?  

Kesef, an item worth more than the lowest valued coin.  Why demand such a negligible value for this item?  Firstly so that anyone could get married.  The cost of the item, which for generations is a ring, should not be so exorbitant that it would prevent a wedding from taking place.  Ok, today we have plenty of other factors that can threaten a wedding, but the true essence of a valid wedding is met with just these three conditions and two witnesses, not related to either of the happy couple, to witness a range of events that occur throughout the ceremony. 

You may have noticed that this short list does not include a Rabbi, a chuppah, guests, caterers, florists, band or any of the army of wedding providers we cannot live without today. And you are right!

You can hold a Jewish wedding ANYWHERE; in a living room, on a boat, a roof top or a restaurant. Jewish weddings have been held in ghettos, DP camps and forests.  Interestingly, it is considered especially auspicious to hold a Jewish wedding ceremony at night under the stars (I’ll be talking about this in a separate blog article in the near future).  You have to keep in mind that it is the bride and groom who make the wedding, not the band, the photographer, a four-thousand dollar gown, six hundred white roses or a five-course meal. 

However, a ring is the most recognizable symbol of marriage for centuries. Archeologists have found wedding rings from 7^th century Byzantium and the practice of giving rings seems to have caught on in ancient Babylonia as well.  Rings were also part of the greater gentile custom of exchanging wedding gifts and goods to help ensure the couple’s initial economic stability. Other societies gave and still give bracelets and toe rings, instead of wedding rings for fingers, during wedding ceremonies. 

Throughout the centuries, within Judaism itself, jewelry of all types was given during the betrothal and marriage ceremonies. Interestingly, these two ceremonies were actally performed as one ceremony in ancient times.

A perfect example of the giving of jewelry for a betrothal/marriage is described in the Torah when Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to find a bride for his son Yitzhak and provided Eliezer with what seems to be an impressive amount of jewelry and precious items to “seal the deal”.  This collection included nose rings, bracelets and the like in gold and silver.

From Bereshit Perek 24:

נֶזֶם זָהָב, בֶּקַע מִשְׁקָלוֹ, וּשְׁנֵי צְמִידִים עַל יָדֶיהָ, עֲשָׂרָה זָהָב מִשְׁקָלָם

a gold nose ring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold

Back to our wedding ceremony and the wedding ring.  The ring must be a simple, smooth (without a noticeable beginning or end) ring, without stones or cutouts. Usually the ring is round, but I have seen square-shaped rings, which are kosher, as long as they fulfil all the other conditions.

The ring can be of any metal.  I read that another reason for the ring to be plain and unadorned is so that it cannot be over-valued or made to look more expensive than it is really worth, in order to prevent someone from marrying a person under a false pretense or inducement of wealth.

Additionally, the groom must own the ring; that is, he must have bought the ring with his own money.  I will assume that a ring that the groom inherited, must be legally considered his own property, in order to be able to use it halachickly. Usually under the chuppah, the Rabbi will ask the groom if he did indeed buy the ring and if it is indeed worth more than a pruta.  This second question usually causes a bit of nervous laughter on the side of the bride and her family and is usually followed by a whispered comment such as “it better be…”.  

Two witnesses are then called upon to “inspect” the ring, to ensure that is of one piece and that it is indeed worth more than a pruta.

Once this is done the groom will then recite:

הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל

Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.

The two witnesses also watch as the groom clearly places the ring on the bride’s right index finger.

Before I discuss the bride’s hands, I would like to talk for just a moment about another custom regarding the ring and the bride.  I have heard that the witnesses must watch the bride accept the ring, by extending her hand and allowing the groom to place the ring on her finger. 

I have also read that the bride should lift her veil as she does this, so that she can CLEARLY SEE the ring being placed on her finger and that she clearly accepts this marriage.  I like that!

There is another minhag that the bride should wear no jewellery under the chuppah, so that when she wears her wedding ring for the first time, it is the most important and only piece of jewellery she is wearing.  Usually the bride will remove her jewellery right after the badekin and give it into the care of a trusted friend and then put it back on after the ceremony, usually in the yehud room.

The idea of an exchange of rings is not a Jewish tradition.  If a couple wants the groom to wear a ring as well, the bride can place the ring on the groom’s finger when and where she pleases.  Some do it under the chuppah, others do it in the yechud room and so on.

So back to our bride and her right index finger.  The groom places the wedding ring on her right index finger.  The bride should not wear gloves or any other impediment, but have the ring placed directly on her finger. 

There are all kinds of opinions, beliefs and theories behind wearing the wedding ring on either the right hand or the left hand.  These philosophies run the gamut from the left ring finger being associated with the heart to the right index finger being the most active finger and therefore the act of marriage should be signified by the right index finger.

As the ring has been sized to the bride’s left ring finger, the ring may not fit as well as it will on the right index finger.  The bride can move the ring to her left ring finger at the end of the chuppah, during yechud or whenever it is convenient for her.

There is a minhag that I heard from my mother-in-law z”l, that the bride should put her wedding ring back on the right index finger during each of their sheva brachot celebrations as well.

In all cases, the wedding ring has become an important part of the Jewish Wedding ceremony.  Mazal Tov!

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