The Myth of “I Never Wear Makeup”

“What kind of makeup look would you like to wear at the wedding?”

Through the years I have asked countless mothers of the bride and the groom this question and many times I have heard in response: “Oh, I never wear makeup, so whatever…”.  Wrong answer!  

I am here to stand up and say out loud that there are definitely times when every woman must wear makeup and a wedding is one of those times!

Go ahead and pamper yourself!

To say that every bride should wear makeup is a given; no matter how young, sweet and dewy-faced,  the bride needs to wear some makeup.  The facts are simple: the bride is (usually) decked out in a white dress and, at least for the first few hours, is surrounded by a white veil.  Many times even her flowers are white.  That all-white look alone can create a pale and washed-out appearance.

Now take into account the lovely brides who fast on the day of their weddings, the brides who are hyper-sensitive, the ones who are hyper-worried and the ones who are just incredibly nervous.  In most cases the veritable grocery list of wedding circumstances will conspire to produce a pale, washed-out look on any face.  The bride MUST wear makeup – at least a good warm base, a warm or pinkish blush and some lip and eye treatment and a lick of mascara. 

But this article is directed at all the other women of the bridal party, especially the MOTHERS of the BRIDE and the GROOM.

Makeup - lovely makeup!

I don't care if you NEVER wear makeup, I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your own wedding and I don't care if you didn't wear makeup for your other sons'/daughters' weddings.  It is equally unimportant to me that the wedding is scheduled for the summer/winter rain/snow storm/midnight or noon; on a beach, on a mountain or in an over air-conditioned venue.  The mothers of the bride and groom MUST WEAR MAKEUP.  If you are curious, yes this is written in stone!

Let me explain why:  You must wear makeup for the sake of the symmetry of the wedding pictures.  ‘Symmetry’ you say?  Imagine a photograph showing half the people are wearing only white clothes head to foot and the other half are wearing clothing of all the colors of the rainbow.  The photo will look "off" - something will be not quite right - half the picture will look "alive" and the other half will look washed out.  

It's the same with makeup.  No matter what outfit and hairstyle a woman wears - a woman with makeup will look more awake, more vital and even younger!  Yes, I am talking about facial skin-appropriate makeup, not heavily rouged cheeks and liver-red lips on someone who should wear more muted colors.  

Note that I did not say age-appropriate makeup.  There is no such thing as age-appropriate makeup; except makeup on a 12 year old, who should never, ever, never wear makeup, except some blush and sparkles and only at her Bat Mitzvah party!

I have said time and again: makeup is the art of accentuating and concealing.  Accentuate the features you love and conceal the features you love less. 

What you love:

• Create bright or dramatic eyes with dramatic eye shadows and eye liner if you love your eyes. 
• Create powerful lips with a dark and dramatic lip color if you love your lips.

What you love less:

• Create a soft eye look with muted earth-tone or blush colored eye shadow if you love your eyes less.
• Create barely-there-lips with soft muted lip treatments if you love your lips less.  Keep in mind that if your lips are very narrow or thin, you can create a fuller lip look by using a lip pencil to draw your lip line a bit past your natural line and the fill them in with a same color lipstick!
• Create warm, barely-there cheeks with a lightly dusted muted dusky-pink tone (stay away from harsh orange, red or brown tones) on your cheeks if your love your cheeks less.

What about you jewelry?

Don’t be afraid of your almost-final makeup look. Don'r worry about whether your eyes or lips look too dark.  The only way to really appreciate your finished makeup look is to see yourself fully dressed.  This means you must put on your dress, jewelry, wig or hat (if applicable).  Once you are fully dressed, don't just look in the mirror - take a picture to see how you look in the picture – this is what counts!

And while I am on the subject of pictures:  open your eyes a bit more than you are used to when you take pictures and please smile more than you usually do.  

Remember: A smile will light up your face and create a glow no makeup can accomplish – but makeup will give you a polished look that no smile can create or prolong!

Want to add a 'pop' to your eye makeup?  Consider false eye lashes.  A quality pair of lashes – not too long (no spider lashes!) or too thick – may not make too big a difference to your look "in person", but could make a difference to your appearance in the photographs!

Not sure of the look you want: ask your makeup artist for a trial beauty session; this session is not just for the bride!  Want to know more about a trial beauty session read my article: http:://yochieisner.blogspot.co.il/p/pre-wedding-trial-beauty-session.html

Now we need to talk about the why you don't want to wear makeup and many times that comes from a deeper place.  I truly believe every woman is born with a G-D given right to wear makeup, enjoy wearing makeup and a right to WANT to wear makeup.  I really feel that some women just feel they don't deserve to feel good about themselves or they don’t want people to think they are selfish or vain.  They feel that this is their daughter's/son's day and that the spot light should not be on them.  Or they are too old to bother with makeup or that they are "too far gone" and no amount of makeup can help them or why bother.  I am here to tell you - you could not be more wrong!

You deserve to feel good about yourself, to look into the mirror and not cringe, so that when you look into the camera lens you will not cringe, nor should you cringe when you see the photos.  And you certainly don't want your kids to cringe when they see the photos.

Like shoes, it doesn't matter if you feel overweight, poor, unhappy at work, unhappy in other areas of your life, your face can help make you feel good about yourself.  This is not silliness or selfishness, this is about feeling good about yourself, looking good and succeeding all bundled together into one package.  And let me tell you something, the photographer will treat you better and kinder and your kids will feel better as well! 

If your best friend won't tell you, then let me, YOU HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP.  

Not happy about your hair?  Think about hair extensions or a less-expensive synthetic wig.  Not happy about your dress or your dress size?  Talk to a stylist and I work with the best Wendy Lehmann!  BUT, let the Kallah Whisperer tell you, if you feel good about your makeup and hair, you will stand taller, look thinner and make better pictures for your kids and grandkids.  

Oh now I brought out the big guns!  Imagine: your grandkids will one day look at the wedding pictures of their parents and see you there and they will say (say it with me) "what a sexy young grandmother I have".  Now, make that appointment with the makeup artist and hairstylist, you know you deserve it!

For more information on this topic and to arrange a bridal beauty consultation or bridal beauty trial session please contact me today.  Visit my site  www.thekallahwhisperer.com 

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